Posts by Had Enough

51

CyberSex

by DreamMaster in

cybersex: real or fantasy!.

i would like to tell you good people a story and when i'm finished i would appreciate your honest opinion as i know you wouldn't give me anything less.

my wife and i have been fighting about a situation which recently arose in our home.

Had Enough

Hello DreamMaster:

To me, trust is a very vital part of a successful marriage. Trust means being comfortable and sure of your partners love and interest.

To me, trust does not allow for any sexual interest in anyone other than your own mate.

Cybersex and looking at porn pictures are both avenues of fantasizing about other partners and to me, that does not promote trust. Fantasizing about other partners to me is a sign that one or both are not happy with the other. I cannot see either of these activities as having any positive affect on a marriage. I only know how I would feel if my husband fantasized with porn pictures and how he would feel if I was having cybersex with some stranger....devastated and betrayed for both of us.

Of course I realize, that everyone has their own comfort zone about marriage, but the fact that her cybersex bothers you, then perhaps a heart to heart with your wife will reveal why she finds this so appealing. Perhaps your viewing porn pictures tells her you're not totally interested in and commited to her.

Finding out what's wrong is obviously only going to come from honest dialog between you two and an honest commitment to being there for each other, not with other strangers invading your bedroom via the net and porn pictures.

Just my pennies worth.

Had Enough

PS: Welcome to the board...I hope we can help in some way

27

JUSTICE #3 - Sin worse than Apostasy!

by Amazing in

jw
friends

a sin worse than apostasy .

there was a very nice young couple in our congregation with one child.

no one could see why she should not be reinstated.

Had Enough

Hi Amazing:

Thanks for the clarification. I guess I should never be surprised at how low the GB can stoop if they can allow brothers in Mexico to get away with bribing officials to get the card they need to say they done their military duty, then why wouldn't they allow elders a free hand at 'whipping the brothers into shape'.

It boggles the mind how justified they (the elders and the GB) feel in doing things so contrary to Jesus example of love and justice that they claim to be following.

As difficult as it is to read these accounts, I appreciate your sharing them with us. It strengthens my resolve daily that I'm on the right path out from under their clutches.

Had Enough

18

Very important notice hits JW boards

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

i now realize that the reason i left was because i just couldn't deal with all the important issues: http://www.greatcrowd.com/159ubb/forum22/html/000161.html.

expatbrit

Had Enough

expatbrit:

I'm with you. I just looked there and now I don't feel like eating lunch.

So many wanted to know what releases and new things went on at the DCs but the moderators squashed anyone giving out info and told them to delete it...don't want to spoil the surprise for others! Whew...I guess they could always come here to find out what happened at the DCs.

I sure am glad I'm here and they're there.

Had Enough

27

JUSTICE #3 - Sin worse than Apostasy!

by Amazing in

jw
friends

a sin worse than apostasy .

there was a very nice young couple in our congregation with one child.

no one could see why she should not be reinstated.

Had Enough

Amazing:

When I've read before, of cases of the injustices people have suffered in the hands of "those directed by holy spirit through prayer", I think, 'that has to be the worst', and yet here's another one so horrendously cruel, I just can't fathom how it just keeps happening over and over again.

I shouldn't be surprised at the decision of the first judicial committee, as I've had to deal with an elder such as you described, before also. But at least I didn't have to suffer the inhumane label of "not to be reinstated". How indecent and power-mad is that?

I can't understand why the ones in Bethel, who get the letters from the elders explaining each case and reasons for their decision, couldn't see the injustice in this and suggest another decision be made. How can they possibly feel this decision was directed by holy spirit?

The more I read, the more disgust I have, and the more fear I have for my family.

Had Enough

13

OPERATION of & Sin Against the Holy Spirit!

by Amazing in

jw
friends

when jws ask one of the anointed just how they "know" that they are anointed, they are really asking what it is that god does via the holy spirit that tells them they are chosen.

a "bolt" of lightening?

a rush of the wind?

Had Enough

To Amazing and all:

I love this board and I am so grateful to all who post their experiences and findings about the org. So many times posts like this one will pull out thoughts buried deep inside that I haven't thought about for a long time and helps me to sort them out and get a better perspective on these pieces of the jigsaw puzzle in my mind.

Orange Blossom:

Everything you just wrote is exactly how I have felt and some of what I have already expressed in other threads here..like:

The society tells us that we can only receive Jehovah's blessing and survive if we are doing A,B,C,D, etc. When we fail to do any of those things, we condemn ourselves to destruction. When we do everything they tell us, then we feel good about ourselves and that maybe, just maybe, Jehovah will spare us.
I lived most of my life filled with guilt, not for having some secret sin, but because I was not living up to the standards of the WTS. I use to look around at others in the hall and wonder how they could do it but not me. Anyway, once I read "Crisis of Conscience", the guilt left. But, I have to be honest, a void entered my life as well.
I feel like I have been deceived and my whole belief system turned upside-down. But your explanation, Amazing, makes perfect sense. Growing up in the borg, we are constantly conditioned to believe that we can ONLY be happy if we conform.

Reading others feelings, experiences, thoughts, that I have gone through or am going through, continually gives me the boost I need in realizing I am not alone.

Thank you all!!

HE

4

LIST OF ALL JUSTICE SERIES

by Amazing in

jw
friends

hi everyone: i am not trying to swamp the board with my justice series, but i wanted to get it to you in a timely manner so that some will not miss one, and then it gets lost way down the board.

also to facilitate this, i am providing the list in case you may have missed any and want to recover them or have me repost them:.

posted so far.

Had Enough

wasasister says:

Your accounts are well-written and exactly in line with my recollections of time deep "within". I'm very happy someone has documented these events. Your stories cry to be told. Thank you.

ditto - my sentiments exactly.

I'm hoping to be able to come to the BRCI this year and look forward to meeting you. I'm still technically "in" because of my family though I haven't attended for about 2 years now. Am a little apprehensive about going but am in contact with Ros for support.

Thanks again.

Had Enough

46

The BRCI Conference

by larc in

jw
friends

are any of you going to the brci conference in waterloo, canada?

it should be coming up soon, in a matter of weeks.

they are a really good group of x's.

Had Enough

Hi Rational:

I like your name and I will try to be rational too.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I guess what set off my concerns is that I do know a lot of people from that area but as I added to my last post, the DC for that area is on that same weekend so I should think most JWs in that area will be there way across the city....soooooo that does help.

I told a friend of mine and he and his wife would very much like to attend. They are much in the same boat as I am, but very enthusiastic to come with me...so I am going to try to make it. I very much would like to meet you folks from here and others whose experiences I have read about on other sites and I noticed they were speakers at some of the other conferences.

Thanks again,

Had Enough

17

Not sure I can handle the anger anymore

by professor in

jw
friends

i am over 30 and have been out of the "organization" for almost 14 years now.

my father is an elder who's main concern is kissing up to the c.o.

so he can move up the ranks and be important.

Had Enough

Hello Professor:

I understand the frustration and anger you feel when you try to help your parents to see the org. in the real light. The anger doesn't go away because you and we feel helpless at the mercy of a group of men who control our families' lives and ultimately still have a hold on us because of that. And precious time that could be spent with our family is being wasted away because of some mens' "rules". (Even though they say they don't have rules, just principles) HA!

By your own statement of how they react to anything negative said about the org., you can see how that approach just rarely works. JWs have a programmed "off" button in their brain that automatically is triggered when anyone says anything unsanctioned by the org. about the org.

Like Ozzie said: they are 'victims of victims'. How true. The domino effect of that is hard to break, but experiences show it is not impossible.

Like trevor said: we need to be like a willow and bend. They certainly won't, so perhaps trying a different approach with them might give you some satisfaction of at least trying something and not just having to sit there and take it...an approach like Tina related.

As Tina said of her own experience with her mom, telling them how you feel using "I" instead of using "you" and "they", makes alot of sense. I can see how much more effective that will be as a defense against that "off" button activating. Hey Tina {{{hugs}}}

What confuses me about the whole situation with shunning family members is how different JWs are in their own experiences.

Some will actively associate with a df'd or da'd family member saying it's OK as long as you don't discuss anything spiritual.

Others take shunning to the extreme and will only associate briefly with a family member at a family emergency like a hospital stay or a funeral and even the social gathering after.

Others family members, at funerals, will only say hello and a few words but don't feel it appropriate to socialize after the talk.

Some I know go to the extreme extreme and won't even go to a df'd family member on their deathbed and the funeral at all!

What gives? Doesn't the org. pride itself on it's unity] of thought, and worship? Why

I hope you can find some relief for your anger.

Had enough

46

The BRCI Conference

by larc in

jw
friends

are any of you going to the brci conference in waterloo, canada?

it should be coming up soon, in a matter of weeks.

they are a really good group of x's.

Had Enough

Hi larc, Ros and other BRCI attendees:

To get back on topic here - I'd love to attend and meet some of you interesting people that I've "met" posting here.

Do you know if ones who are in my situation attend: non-attending/non-associating JWs who just haven't da'd due to family still in the borg. so keeping a low profile is important. I still do attend assemblies and memorials for the sake of my family but they think I'm just going through a weak time due to my upset over the shunning rule as my son been da'd.

Do you ever get any curious or just plain nosy local JWs lurking?

Just asking because of the usual paranoia you know!

Had Enough

PS: As a coincidence, do you all realize that the DC is being held that same weekend in Kitchener which is the twin city of Waterloo. However the BRCI Conference will be held at the far end of Waterloo and the DC will be at the opposite and far end of Kitchener so "never the twain shall meet".

5

On Line Literature (old WTs, Finished Mystery etc)

by hawkaw in

jw
friends

i have noticed a lot of new people are on this board and i don't know how many of you were with the old h2o.

so every now and then i let all you nice people know where you can read books like the finished mystery or the millions book or the old watchtower (pre 1900s etc.

) or the other study in the scriptures volumes on line.

Had Enough

Hello Hawk:

Thanks for the great info. I didn't know a site like this existed.

One question: Is there a short way to download say the 6 vols. of S.In Scrip. books without having to click onto each one individually and copying and pasting into MSWord?

I'd like to download it all in one swoop or am I grasping at straws here?

Had Enough